When you really know someone it’s so easy to dwell on weakness instead of strength. The focus often becomes negative instead of positive. A husband or wife tries to correct and change instead of accept and pray.
One of the most common prayers in marriage is, “Lord, change my wife,” or, “Lord, change my husband.” The mature prayer of marriage is, “Lord, change me.” Let the Lord change and correct your spouse. Spend your time praying and building on strengths.
The mature prayer of marriage is, “Lord, change me.”
At the beginning of marriage counseling, I often ask two questions:
What did you love about your mate when you first married?
What ten strengths do you appreciate about your mate right now?
That often seems to shock the couple. They are coming to a counselor to tell all the bad stuff. But reiterating the negative never heals; it only hurts.
Focus on the strengths in your marriage. Begin to release the weaknesses.
Try this: List all of your mate’s strengths. Begin focusing on strengthening his strengths.
Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right.
Think about things that are pure and lovely,
and dwell on the fine, good things in others.
Think about all you can praise God for
and be glad about.
Phil. 4:8 TLB
(Source: Seventy-Seven Irrefutable Truths Of Marriage[a]Larry Keefauver and Judy Keefauver, Seventy-Seven ...continue)
Footnotes [ + ]
|a.||⇑||Larry Keefauver and Judy Keefauver, Seventy-Seven Irrefutable Truths of Marriage, (Gainesville, FL: Bridge-Logos Publishers, 2002)|